Misery

I feel like I am at about my wits ends right now. On top of being sick with a premature cold (I wasn't expecting one for at least another month), and having no decent sleep in 3 nights, I must have "SCREW ME OVER" stamped on my face. To put it lightly and to the point one too many people think responsibility and honesty aren't important. I'm really growing to hate people who think they can just walk free of an obligation and the associated costs without any consequences.

At any rate things can't get anything but better. After a long time Mike and I are done trying to make concessions and sacrifices to "help" people. We are getting our own place and saying no to immature roommates. We move in Monday. It's nice, pretty roomy for us. With new stackable washer/dryer, full kitchen, bathroom... new carpet and furniture... everything. We're pretty excited. Hopefully we can just repair the shambles our life has seemed to become this last month. I won't have to play mommy to a freshman in college who has Peter Pan Syndrome, acts like she's the only one who has problems, and doesn't have to contribute. My home won't be a filthy pig stye anymore, my personal things (clothes, beauty products, blankets etc...) won't be stolen and/or used up or ruined. We'll have some privacy and proximity. And you know, the thing that just gets my goat is that I'm a pretty generous person. To a fault, infact, and all I ask is that people ask me first! I say yes about 99% of the time either because I'm too nice to say no, or because I truly don't mind. But no more. I won't allow people to take advantage of my kindess any longer. Long gone are the days that I will have to listen to things I really don't care about, especially since all this person is with is getting a boyfriend and getting married. Then when ( imagine this) the guy goes running (not walking!) running the other direction when they catch a whiff of how unstable and crazy she is, she tells me I should be the one to talk to him on her behalf.

She's out of her ever loving mind.

Plus she is always banging on about how Mike is not right for me and he's a dirt bag and how I could do much better. All because she is unhappy and envious. I feel as though she's constantly trying to come between us and... oh my god I don't care! I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I just hope her fat monkey heart gets what it deserves.

The weather has been beautiful. It's getting chillier every day. School is going well. I didn't do too bad on my tests. My EMT testing showed a 95 and a 98%, my History hasn't come in yet, and my Anat & Phys was in the low 90's.

I'm so grateful that I have Mike. These days have been so trying and nothing seems to keep me together in the middle of the night when I am miserable and sniffling and stressed and dreading morning light. When feel his arms around me it brings so much comfort and consolation. He doesn't even have to speak. Just that energy and emotion helps me realize that it's all going to be okay. To all my friends out there who listen to me complain and give me their loving support and advice, few though you may be, I love you all very much. I'm debating going to class tonight. I just don't know that I have to patience and physical strength to do endotracheal intubations tonight. BLAH. I just feel so dead and tired that I'm unbelievably, deliriously goofy and silly. I'll flip a coin. Heads I go learn, tails I sit on mine and catch up on other school work. I must bid you farewell. So until the next blog... :*