Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I wanted to write a little something about all that I have to be grateful for. I'm pretty lucky all in all, even though I forget and often take things for granted. At the end of the day I have a warm, love filled place to rest my head. I have a wonderful man, and although our relationship isn't perfect I wouldn't trade Mike for any price. We have so much to look forward too. I've learned (these past few months) that home really is where your heart is. Being in Elko hasn't made me as happy as I thought it would. I have an education that is finally getting me of the ground and headed for a great career, and I am so glad that I will have opportunities in the very near future to get started with it I have a good family; yes it's crazy and sort of messy, but that keeps things spicy and keeps us striving to do better. We have a bulldog, too. That just about beats all!! I love that squat, portly, incessantly joyous puppy! I am also thankful that I have no challenges physically; I feel blessed to be able bodied. I am grateful that I have been able to serve my community and help people in the field that I am in, and for literally nothing in return. I'm grateful to live in America, where I can compete as a woman and make my dreams come true. I have the best friends in the world, and I love them dearly. They are always there for me, always a support system. They teach me so much by example, and I couldn't ask for more in friends.

Mike is home from his vacation Ely. It was only almost 6 days. But it felt like forever!! I don't think I've been so glad for him to be home and be around in a long while. I can't wait to spend my Thanksgiving with him. I'm not sure why it's such a huge deal to me, other than I just love him. There's magic in spending holidays with your soul mate :) I'm one damn lucky person to say that he is my man. God. I just can't even think of words that mean enough to express how glad, blessed, thankful... (no words!!) to know that we are one, and I won't ever have to walk through this life alone. Because half the journey is in your companionship. And I got the best companion I could ever get.

Want to Be Close to You

Tropic Thunder. It definately isn't everyone's sense of humor. But I thought it was great. A little vulgar, but so funny!! I wish I owned it. Tom Cruise was just... mind blowingly different and funny, Ben Stiller was hilarious, Robert Downey Jr. was 'black', and Jack Black was beating a drug problem... hahaha oh my. It was just... great.

Mike is now officially a working man again. He got the job at Big 5, and starts next week. Meanwhile he is in Ely for the weekend to have an early Thanksgiving with his family. Yes, it's true, I'll be spending a Thanksgiving with my boyfriend for the first time ever. About damn time, too. After two and a half years!! I'm really excited. I really appreciate Thanksgiving. It's simple. No gifts, no money spending to say "I love you this many dollars...". Just family, friends, things that matter. Good food, good drink... it's pleasant. I love cooking, eating, then just cuddling up and watching seasonal movies and having the lights low with the fire keeping things cozy. I'm excited. It's going to be comfortable, yummy, and uncomplicated. And I have a five day weekend. It doesn't get much better than that!

Mike is gone. And I'm feeling lonely :( I hate this. I hate it when he's gone. At the same time it doesn't bother me though. Perhaps because I know he's coming back...or just because after all the shit we've been through I know we can make it through anything. I just want us to be together. Last night when we were laying in bed, after he'd fallen asleep, I just sidled up and rested my face on his masculine chest. I could hear his heart beating soft and steady and it really made me think. Day to day I forget. I forget all the crap he puts up with for me, all the sacrifices he's made in my behalf or for me, and I disregard his feelings and the fiery love that has been billowing underneath everything that makes me forget. The fiery love that keeps us going and brings me back down to remember why we're together when I seriously wonder why we are together sometimes. It's sad that I only realize things like that when he's about to be inaccessible for any length of time.

I just want to be close to him.

I love him.

I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Pre-Thanksgiving Thoughts

Monday. Yuck.

Over the weekend I went and saw the new James Bond 007 Quantum of Solace. It was pretty good. Most everyone who went with us though didn't like it. I like it because it's more believable. He isn't too slick or perfect just yet- but these newer Bond movies are about his early days before he became the all powerful 007 agent. All in all I thought it was good.

Mike has a job interview tomorrow. I really hope it works out. I am praying he gets it because it would not be very good if he didn't. Not feeling productive makes it easier for people to just give up. I've definately been there. The upside is infinitely great, but the down side is that he wouldn't get to go home for Thanksgiving this year :( I know how it is to miss holidays with your family. It's certainly not fun. Especially since they had planned to drive down to Las Vegas as a family for their Christmas shopping. Growing up is a total pain. Last year I missed Christmas in Spring Creek because I had to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas Day. He's down about it. If infact he doesn't get to go home. But on the other hand that's just part of growing up. He is almost 22 and if his career goals start picking up in the next year or two chances are he may not be able to be home then either. I just tried to reassure him that it'll be okay, and that yeah, it is disappointing, but on the positive side he can spend it with me! We've never spent a holiday together. Well, we had Christmas Day dinner together last year, but that was it. So I think either way he'll be fine :) I'll make sure his holiday is perfect and stress free if he can't be with his real family. I think I owe him that much. He is up here in Elko for/with me.

Mid-Week Gripes

Let's see... oh yes. Last night I went to the high school's production of Grease with my mom, brothers, and sisters. Before the play my mom had taken them to Wal*Mart to get some stuff and my brother literally smashed her in the trunk. He said he didn't see her, and when he went to slam down the trunk lid he crushed her acromium process. The process was bulging out a little bit and there was definite tissue damage; by the end of the play the blunt force trauma impression had faded and you could see the definite line of where it had hit. Hopefully she's okay. Her shoulder girdle is going to be freaking sore for a while. She might even want to see a doctor who can do some join therapy. She had limited abduction and it was extremely painful to light touch. And the play sucked. They cut out scenes and I, having never seen Grease before, had no idea what was happening.

I had my NREMT practicals last Saturday and I passed. In one try, no station re-dos or anything. YAY!

My Grandma Karen is coming to the Creek on Saturday for 5-7 days. She's going to be taking charge of the kids while my Dad is in Salt Lake getting his heart procedure done. I'm excited about her being here, but very nervous and anxious for my Dad. I just want it to be over, and for it work.

I've also been on the (2nd) job hunt. I need to be making about 300-400 dollars more a month. And then I'll be a-okay. It's just finding a job in this crap economy right now. No one is quitting or hiring anywhere I could work. But gas is down to about 2.35 average here in Elko now- wahoo! I hate to say it but money is stressing me out! It's messing up my zen hahaha! I just find it so sad that people say "Oh, money... it doesn't matter. It's not important." And yet what do we spend our time trying to gain, circumvent our lives around acquiring just to live? Money.

Mike might be getting a sweet job at Big 5. I think he'd do well there :)

Other than that, I have no more to grunt about. I need to get going and finish a paper I have do tomorrow. I'll be in touch.

In a Funk

Today is Friday and things are just okay. I went to work this morning and my boss was 36 minutes late. I'm not really sure what her deal is, but it's getting annoying. Tomorrow I am testing for my E.M.T.-I through the N.R.E.M.T. I feel pretty good about it right now, we'll see in the morning. I don't feel like I'm going to fail. So tonight I'm just planning on reviewing my skill sheets and looking up any last minute questions or details. I'll probably get out for a while tonight. Maybe make Mike go for a walk with me. That usually helps me maintain my head and keep me from obsessing over something I know will work out just fine.

On Sunday Nov. 16 my mom will be taking my dad to the V.A. in Salt Lake City. Hopefully everything will go well and after this visit he won't have heart problems anymore. He'll be going in Monday for an electrical activity mapping (SA/AV node tracking) to route where his deficiency in heart function is. Then he'll have a procedure (I'm not sure what kind, exactly). But in any case, the procedure he is having done is proven to cure 98% of all cases. After that he'll be monitored under close watch and care for a couple days, and if all goes well he should be back home on 19th or 20th. As far as I know my grandma Karen will be driving down to watch my brothers and sisters. Which is nice because then I can go hang out with them at my house! Instead of babysitting :) Although, don't get me wrong. Babysitting heathens is so, so wonderful!

Other than that no new updates. I'm not feeling particularly on top of my game; I'm getting this miserable cold, but it's coming on as slowly as possible.

Give the Newness A Chance

As I've been monitoring my facebook and myspace pages as the new president was elected last night, I have to say that I am frankly quite disappointed in a lot of the people I know.

Irregardless of who you voted for there was a reason for who got elected. There is a reason and a plan for everything that happens. We don't have to agree with all or even some of the same things. But has everyone forgotten good decency and respect? Especially for my friends who are religious, I have to say that you of all people should be leading with an attitude of security in the idea that God has a plan, and there is a reason Obama was elected- because there is some sort of change that must be brought about by him. Don't get so wrapped around the axel about what he does or doesn't support- people will still do what they want, regardless of laws and regulations. You must have faith that people will make the right decisions without laws that are made or vetoed by the President and Congress.

As Albert Einstein once said "You cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that caused them in the first place."

Barack Obama is the new President of the United States of America. What an incredible feat for the African-Americans. Considering where they were 300 years ago in our country, it's amazing that We, the People, have been able to accept the 44th president as a black man. America has been very harsh and unaccepting of the black people since we brought them here. And look- he sets a bar that black people can and should work for success and education. They don't have to live up to the idea and stereotype that they are supposed to be poor, ignorant, and low on the socioeconomic scale. They are human, and they are full of potential. They can overcome and serve, just as the new President has done.

I realize that there are alot of people who believe in McCain, and wanted him to be elected. However, I really think that the direction that needs to be taken is to focus here at home on the economy, jobs, working people, and fixing the wildness that has run rampant and run people like myself into the ground financially. That's my personal opinion.

What I am trying to say is that I have seen some beligerence and straight up disrespect towards the President-Elect. Why does this bother me? Because in this country we have to ability to change, we have the ability to elect, to vote, to think, to feel without much repercussion. In this country we have to privilege to support, the right to disagree. But do we ever have the right to disrespect and hate? Especially a leader who we haven't even seen in action yet? I think we must give this newness a chance, I believe that hate and disregard is what has caused the difficulty of the last 8 years with the last administration. I feel that we have to give it a try, with an open mind and not just be "blah" about it because our party affiliation didn't get elected. That's just ignorant. To assume without evidence and on minimal knowledge is ignorant.

Be a Democrat. Be a Republican. Be in Independent. Don't be an ass and be a hater..

Election Day '08

I've been constantly logging on and off the internet on my phone, jumping to Yahoo! News/Election '08, and CNN at every computer I see. I have no idea why I care so much, or am as involved and attached as I am, but this is definately the first time. Before now I've never been old enough to vote in an election, so I don't think I really cared all that much. Well- I cared, but since my vote wasn't on the line, I didn't feel like it matter hahahaha :) I just want it to be over all ready. Mike and I are avoiding classes tonight in favor of dinner parked infront of the television to monitor every second of what is happening- even though we're pretty sure of the outcome according to the political analysts and their projections. Whatever :). Anything beats going to Prof. Port's boring biology class.

Thankful

I had a very interesting weekend. My best friend Julia came to visit with her friend Ashley, and it was kind of miserable. Ashley is just finishing up with her divorce and consequently all that happened this weekend was to cater to her, keep her entertained, her her her! Julia and I didn't spend time together for more than maybe one hour, and that was last night. I understand that she's going through a hard time, but that never warants being straight up rude and self centered. All she kept saying was "waaa... I have cabin fever... I'm so bored. This sucks." and wanting to go spend money doing things that Julia and I don't have money to do right this second! I was not happy. I was very frustrated. All in all I just decided that this Ashely girl is 23, and she is plenty old enough to take care of her self and entertain herself, and is old enough to mind her manners and not put Julia in a compromising situation. I have my own personal ideas about why and how Ashley did what she did this weekend, but I'm not going into detail here. All I can say is that it really isn't our place to essentially stalk her ex-husband to find out what he's doing. And it isn't her place to tell me that I can't love on my man or be sweet to him when she's around because: "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but... I want that and I can't have it, so please don't be affectionate in front of me." What I was thinking was:This is my house, I invited you here, don't you dare to try to tell me what I can and can't do. Get over it.

Mike had a similiar experience with his brother Matt, and our 'friend' Nick. So we made a deal that if we have company we won't let them bring any guests with them that we don't know or like. Which makes it easier for everyone involved.

I'm pretty much just glad the weekend is over and we are back to normal life. I'm happy to be alone with Mike again and not being busy playing mommy to a 23 year old whiner.

I miss Julia, and I wish we could have been able to hang out; but I'll probably go see her next month. I'll live. We've spent the majority of our long friendship apart, so I'm pretty sure we'll survive.